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I stumbled across this on my facebook feed earlier tonight, and was sucked in by the clickbait title. http://www.media254.com/why-single-ladies-born-in-80s-90s-may-never-get-a-husband-soon/
I had hoped that this would be a piece cheering on women who decided to not get married. My hopes were dashed immediately when I read the first two items on the list (yes it is another blasted list). They read:
        1) Many ladies will end up single for life because of media exposure
        2) Many ladies now dislike cooking and home chores
These points were described by saying that young women need to look up from their phones and stop watching celebrity shows, and by saying women had been brainwashed by watching "men playing the role of women in a family." I paused, wondered why I had ever clicked on this in the first place, then scrolled down to see how long this list was. It was fourteen reasons. Fourteen reasons that women were not going to get a husband no matter how hard they tried because they were worthless, shallow, poor, and whores.
I went back to facebook to see who had posted this, it was one of my friends from Atlanta and she had commented, "I wish young girls would read this." Then I looked at the comments section of the article itself, which was more of the same: women saying that they were not like those being described by the list, men saying that the list was 100% true.
I just want to offer a different perspective, the one that I was anticipating having reaffirmed when I first clicked on the link. As a woman born in the 80s, I want to tell you why I may never get a husband, and why that’s fine with me.
1)      Many women in our generation have experience with what we call “third wave feminism”. One of the great things about the internet is the ability to share opinions beliefs and values with a large audience, and the internet had made feminism a priority in most public spheres. Because of this I am able to value myself as a woman independent of any relationships that I have.
2)     I will admit that I love cooking, but like most people, I don’t particularly enjoy housework. In a perfect world I would find a companion that enjoys housework and doesn’t have a strong inclination to cook. In reality if someone is assuming based on my gender that I should be doing housework happily then why would I possibly want to have that person as a lifetime partner?
3)     Make-up should not be worn, or taken off at the whims of a potential partner. If you like make-up go for it, if you don’t the leave it off. Yours is the face that you have to live with every day, do with it what you will.
4)     Lack of money doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve nice things. If you save up your money when you can spare it, by all means buy yourself something nice. If you want some Dolce and Gabbana glasses get some, just don’t let your family starve.
5)     I don’t want to “get” a husband, I’m not catching fish, ordering a pizza, or setting up a snare. It’s not about finding someone who will suddenly make you a complete person. It’s about finding someone who you might possibly be willing to spend the rest of your life with. Someone who accepts you and all of your flaws and your perfections. Someone who doesn’t mind that you like to spend money on nice clothes, and adores the way your ass looks when you’re rocking those Jimmy Choos.
I want young girls to read this: be proud of who you are, strive to better yourself, and don’t ever place your worth in the hands of another person. You are brilliant, all on your own.  


I got into a PhD program.

So I discovered Tumblr

It is an interesting platform.

Still love lj though. Hello.

It seems like a good time to post

This past year, November of 2012, I decided to participate in NANOWRIMO, which I hadn't done since 2005 or 2006. Either way, after hearing that The Night Circus started out in it's earliest form, as a product of the project, I decided to get inspired and get writing... I made it to 23,412 words. The goal is 50,000. The cheerleaders of NANOWRIMO encourage just getting it all out there--no revision--which I could not do. Every time I caught an error in dialogue, in scene set up, in character motivation, I had to stop and try to fix it. I see why they tried to get me to press on, every change that I made led to other changes, led to me feeling demoralized, and eventually led to me not opening "November Writing File" again.

So, was it worth the time I took to actually participate? I think the answer is yes. I didn't get anything out of it that doesn't need substantial revision, but I did exercise my writing muscles a bit, and take my mind off of student papers and course management for a while.

So that's an update. Revision is something that always bothers me, especially when it comes to short stories. You change one scene, you end up changing the whole damn thing. Then it becomes this unrecognizable writhing mass instead of what you wanted it to be.


What the hell is going on? Where are my tag bundles? My network? GRRRRRR

Not Having a Job

It's odd to me, this experience of not having a job. As soon as I got out of high school, I started working. Through undergrad I worked part time. Through my master's I still worked part time. Afterward, I got another job to supplement my income...and then I made the decision to quit my job at the library, which I adored, quit my job teaching, which I loathed, and move to Atlanta.

Atlanta, while offering a treasure trove of jobs for computer programmers, analysis, and babysitters, does not want overqualified moi working in their coffee shops, their bookstores, or their restaurants. Furthermore, I'm under-qualified to work in most of their community colleges, or they already have a bevy of starving English professors banging on their doors seeking employment.

So I'm jobless. My fingernails have grown long and sharp, my desserts have become twice weekly things. I've invested 20+ hours in a video game called Okami. My morning are dedicated to job searching, my evenings to books and fanfiction. I've even started working on a short story.

Some of these things could appear productive, but it feels like stasis--like being trapped in the moment after you take some well deserved time off and before you start on your next project. I don't like this feeling. I don't like that I'm not helping to pay the bills.

However, this cohabitation thing, I like it. I could really get used to it, in fact.


News Update!

Dear everyone,

For the first time in all of my life, I am moving to a whole new city, a whole new state. I am moving to Atlanta.

The reason? Well, you can figure it out.

Wish me luck in finding a job, these pesky community colleges aren't giving me any feedback.



A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness

A librarian/scholar at Oxford's Library, who just happens to be a witch, finds a text that reveals the secrets of sorcery and falls in love with a 500 yr old vampire with a taste for fine wine.

The parallels here are endless. Read the book and tell me how soon my life is going to look like this.

Delicious is getting shut down!


Better move your bookmarks. I'm trying out Diigo. Any other recommendations?

Just watched the new True Blood

It was awesome.

Also, Master Borchers.
That is all.